### [Life after a cult](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldTMLhTMZAc) **Creator**:: [[Dr. K]] **Source**:: **Covers**:: - [[Dr. K]] said "It's okay" and Zorian teared up - Similar to when a tiktoker accepted me and I bawled [[Journal#May 10-20th 2021]] - "I'm not allowed to make a mistake because a mistake means lost time and time is precious because I've already lost so much. The remainder of time is more valuable from this perspective" - [[Dr. K]] doesn't accept this perspective despite how logically correct it is [[Humans are primarily irrational, illogical, emotional beings]] - "You can't make up for the past, it has already happened" [[Accepting responsibility is not only about your actions|Accepting responsibility for moving past your trauma]] - "You can't let your feelings to someone else. You can't tolerate letting other people know about the ugliest parts of your being" - #TO/PONDER/ME "It's not a fear of rejection its a fear of acceptance" [[You don't want to jump off the cliff you're just afraid of falling]] ^5626bf - "Loathing yourself is the opposite of acceptance" [[Constantly working on yourself is a form a self-hatred]] - "Your intellectual [[subconscious]] will subside when it's no longer needed. It's not about getting rid of it it's about no longer needing it to protect you" [[Rationalizations are defense-mechanisms against strong emotions]] - "oh shit when he said he was being objective and Dr K explained that this was actually the most subjective thing he does i instantly recognized this within myself aswell. In an effort to be more objective I'm just distancing from my true [[self]] to create a second position from which I can observe myself without actually FEELING things and instead rationalizing & observing them." -yt comment