> [!infobox] <s class="aside-in"><em>mentioned in 2 evergreens, 1 source</em></s> #### [[Overly interrogative parents can lead to alexithymic children]] As children we are often interrogated about our emotional state before we have the ability to understand our [[emotions]]. This is because our [[parents]] were not equipped to deal with our emotional needs and thus did not equip us with the proper [[coping-mechanisms]]. ^[[[Parents need to model the ability to deal with emotion to their children]]] The core problem here is that your parents attempting to understand your [[emotions]] does not mean that they will help you deal with them. %% #TO/TEND/WEED next two sentences %% Being able to explain the emotions you are publicly feeling will relieve the [[attention]] that you are receiving. ^[[[Increases in scrutiny lead to increases in anxiety]]] This couples the reward of moving the attention away from oneself with the reward of "fixing" the emotion, but being able to explain what the emotion was (or lying about what it was) does not mean we have effectively dealt with the emotion. If this [[feedback loop]] continues, children can develop very strong [[defense-mechanisms]] around sharing their [[emotions]]: [[Rationalizations are defense-mechanisms against strong emotions]] or develop strong [[anxiety]]: [[Confidence is a feedback loop]] [[Parents will not be able to protect their children from every source of trauma]], but parent's can work to equip their children with the tools to succeed in spite of their shortcomings, part of:: [[How can parent's best help their children]] [[We carry our childhood wounds into adulthood]], but there are ways to retrain the [[brain]]'s response to emotion, leads to:: [[How to process repressed emotions]] ### <hr class="footnote"/> **Status**:: #EVER/GREEN *edited January 18, 2022* **Topics**:: [[Alexithymia]], [[parents]], [[childhood]]